Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize