It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
