Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You've changed since you got that strap on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
