I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
