check it out our google latitudes are spooning
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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