Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
