I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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