Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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