It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
