; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
