OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
