how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize