Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
