he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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