I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
high people should be assigned attendants
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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