I met the friendliest cop last night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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