is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We left an ass print on the piano.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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