he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
