Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
