Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This girl is more easily done than said...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
