She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
