I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
