Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
