R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
