I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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