So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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