my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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