Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
