You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize