Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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