why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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