Im at strip club and am horny
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
