I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
