Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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