so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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