Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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