Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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