quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
