I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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