Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
