last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
