so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
