Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
