No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
