Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
