She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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