1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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