Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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