she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
