this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
