Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
