i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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