You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
