Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
