We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
