im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
