So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
