Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
