His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize