im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
