Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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