are you so shy because you have an std?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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