he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
