It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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